First dates are usually awkward events that have become part of the courting ritual landscape for the 21st century. Books have been written about them, films have poked fun at them, and gossip has been passed about each and every one. There are many opinions concerning first dates, as women have mulled over them and men have found ways of getting – or avoiding - them. While our society contains many unspoken rules about first dates, it is always useful to have a few tips on hand when assessing the person across from you at the dinner table.

A recent article published on www.cnn.com gave the “Seven Traits to Investigate on a First Date.” The traits listed were questions and topics to bring up for discussion. The theory behind these topics is that such questions will reveal either complimenting or competing personalities. The first trait listed was the pet situation. For many, the idea of a golden retriever in the yard of your first home together dies hard and won’t go easily - even if you are deathly allergic to dogs. Ties to pets go deep, so it’s important to find out where this potential partner stands on animals. Employment status is also listed. It’s important to know how his mood will be affected by job status. It’s crucial to know if he is suffering the side effects of the bad economy or wants to be a professional bum. The future is important – so it is good to know what that looks like in the big picture. It’s good to know what a dream vacation looks like, and also to know that person’s romantic aspirations. Will she have you on skis while you want the beach? Does she want to be married within the next ten years, or when you turn ninety? The daily life aspect is also significant. What is the perfect Saturday night and what is the perfect Sunday afternoon? As a couple, Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons will soon turn to together time. You’ll want to know if you could spend that time together, if at all. Finally, kissing style is a trait that can also be a good judge of compatibility.
While all of these tips are useful, I personally believe other aspects can give away the personality of someone on a first date. How a person treats serving people (waiter/waitress, etc.) is a great indicator. Is he checking out the waitress, treating her rudely, or other bad behavior? It might be good to beware. Hygiene is also important. Did she spend forty-eight hours getting ready or did she forget to shower for three days? Unless a person accidentally fell into a dumpster (or other great excuse – maybe a workout is your idea of a great first date, after all), then hygiene can be used to move someone onto the next round. Lastly, one trait I think is imperative but cannot be viewed always on a first date is high stress situations. How do they react if you’re caught in traffic or the waiter spills food on them? While this may or may not be observable on a first date, if it is, take note. Life is full of stress, and you may not be able to handle how they handle it.
Finally, it is important to note that not all of these traits are deal breakers within themselves. He may have had a stressful day at work, making him extra edgy when the guy cuts in to steal his parking space. She might hate going to the beach as a dream vacation because her ex-finance dumped her there. Maybe right now his dream Sunday afternoon is in front of the television because it’s football season, but after the Superbowl he’d rather run a marathon. First impressions and first dates are very important, but they are not always great tellers of the future. Sometimes it might take a second or third chance to figure out if you want to pursue something. These are all traits that can be comprised – and all relationships take work and compromise.