19, Female asks Alana: My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years, and we have both agreed that we want to get married: we can’t imagine marrying anyone else. Although, despite our convictions he doesn’t want to get publicly engaged until he has graduated college, he’s two classes younger than me. Am I being irrational to not want to wait on the engagement?

First of all, congrats on the successful relationship!  We all know they’re hard to come by.  Second, that’s a head scratcher.  No, you are not being irrational to want to get engaged.  Wanting to celebrate your relationship (in moderation) and mutually wanting to take the next step is a wonderful thing.  Personally, I think the real issue lies in WHY he doesn’t want to get engaged because something doesn’t seem to be computing.  If he loves you enough to want to get married, and admit this, there is seemingly nothing wrong with the relationship itself — which is wonderful.  However, something is amiss.  Perhaps he’s afraid of how people will perceive him since being engaged is more readily connected with wedding bells and babies than with the shiny-ever-blooming relationship it came from.  My advice is to simply talk to him.  Tell him you love him and that you want to sing that love to the world with an engagement.  Ask him why he’s apprehensive, and really take what he says to heart - maybe it’s a step that he likes the thought of, but he’s just not ready to take the leap yet in reality.  Or maybe his parents look down on early marriages and getting engaged now instead of later would make them disappointed. Good luck, and remember to be honest and speak from your heart.
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