It truly was amazing! A funny clown named “Chuckles” who had the ability to do somersaults while spitting out plumes of fire, to the cheers of hundreds in the crowd. There was a dwarfed individual there that was able to beat everyone in arm wrestling, only to amaze us by dead lifting 500 lbs. Then the event finished with a tantalizing, masked seductress, who to our surprise removed her mask to reveal she was none other than the bearded lady.

Waking up from my day dream I realized what the “Bizarro” event held at Havener should have been. Perhaps not as epic as the image above, but I found the event itself, at most “wanting”. To describe the actual scene, there were 4 tables set up. Among the acts at each table there were: tarot card lady, palm reader chick, magic card dude, and the magnificent massage masseuses. Of course you had the improv fellows, but their acts didn’t particularly interest me. But I did thoroughly enjoy the palm reader chick telling me that I would have one love my whole life without any problems…gee…I wish she would have told that to my ex (WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING MY PHONE CALLS?!). Even better was her telling me that the life line on my hand said I would live a long life with NO health problems. I chuckled, knowing that I had just recovered from a life threatening sickness only 6 months earlier…hooray fortune telling. Lastly, she told me that my success line indicated I would succeed in all I did…hopefully one out of three ain’t bad.
After taking a few pictures it was finally time for my massage. The chair was mighty comfortable, but caused my shirt to ride up my back. This did not help the fact that I was suspicious that the masseuse was staring at my butt crack the whole time. Minutes later I left Havener, emotionally scarred, curious about my future, with a strange craving for a reuben sandwich.