20, Male asks Alana: I have had my girlfriend for years now but she has been the only girl I truly been with. This has started to enter my mind lately and I have caught myself thinking about other girls not knowing what I should do. Part of me thinks that I should stick with her because I am happy with her and I never want to lose her, but the other part of me thinks that I could be happier with another person. I was hoping you might be able to assist me in the right direction.

I have been in this situation myself, and it’s one you definitely have to mull over. First of all, I am glad you are self reflecting. I believe this is a huge part of personal growth and can help lead to greater things for yourself. A lot of people when they first start dating go though date after date, and don’t have a long term relationship until a while into their dating careers. Then there are some who, like you, find someone they really care for and mesh well with right in the beginning. Its great, but then those people will realize at some point that they have had no experience with other people. Personally I believe the deciding factor on your next course of action is the answer to this question: Are you happy? This simple, yet oddly complex question, will guide you to your needed path. However, everyone has different definitions of happiness. Some may think that having these thoughts that perhaps you’d be happier with others is a sign that you are not truly happy with your current relationship. Then others would just see it as simple human curiosity. I think what you need to do is reflect on your relationship and figure out what parts of it could make you happier. If they are things that can be discussed and fixed or not vexatious enough to bother mentioning then stay. However, if they are things that you don’t think you can live with then move on. Before making any action you should always wonder if you will regret it. Still, the fact that you say you never want to lose her speaks for its self. It is okay to speculate about others. Being curious is normal. If you are happy now then continue to be happy, and let the relationship take its course. Then should the speculations ever surface again keep in mind that if the decision is too hard to make, then it is probably not the right time to make a decision. As always discuss your thoughts and feelings with your girlfriend. Open communication is one of the many keys to a happy relationship. So in short, reflect, figure out if you’re happy, and talk to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. I wish you the best of luck.